Dearest Jim,
I am writing in order to beg your forgiveness. Our last interaction was handled poorly by me. I said some things that I didn’t mean. Like, “why are you building a team to compete in the 1990’s,” And, “Doesn’t he know that Gudbranson is actually BadBranson?” I was angry. I didn’t know what I was saying. Emotion got the best of me.
I’m sorry for disparaging you for the initial Brassard trade. In the end, it brought us Jared McCann, our new, young, heartthrob. At first I was upset because I didn’t know how to spell or say “Bjugstad.” I do now. He’s been a steady producer. I was lazy.
Even Jack Johnson, who is so loved that even his parents stole from him, has turned his game around and been a steady force on the blue line. I’m sorry that for months I said that he should be fired straight into the sun.
Marcus Pettersson doesn’t have a jaw. He’s good at hockey, though. I didn’t know what to expect when you brought him in. I like the length of his stick...
Thank you for trading Tanner Pearson. He was less noticeable than Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. That was him. Seriously. I didn’t know either. Gudbranson has had a starring role.
Riley Sheahan was like one of those bare skin condoms. I didn’t even know he was there.
The Jake Guentzel contract has been money well spent. At first I thought he was a hobbit that was a Sidney Crosby creation. Now he’s on pace for 40 goals.
Even though he sucked until December, Bryan Rust has earned his deal too.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’ve done a great job this year. My blog post ripping you is regrettable. The air time that I spent calling you out of touch was too much. Please accept my gift basket. In it you will find a pair of Ray-Ban bifocals. I know how you love to do your crosswords and watch your stories. I hope you accept my sincere apology. All the best to you and Sully.
P.S. Tell Sully that all the random line changes this year were actually okay. I overreacted.