Why Don't My Teams Ever Cheat???

The Astros had a press conference today and I am still SEETHING about this latest cheating scandal in pro sports. I mean why can it never be my team? USC cheating their ass off and winning national championships. Rick "15 second" Pitino buying hookers and winning Natty's for Louisville. The Patriots stacking Lombardis. The Astros winning whatever the hell they call the trophy in baseball because they banged on some trash cans. I'm so sick of it always being someone else and not my team! Start stealing signs Pirates! Use Steroids! Pitt, start paying everybody! Steelers, embrace the Patriot way and film everything you possibly can illegally! Penguins.....well the Penguins are actually already dominant without cheating, but still cheat just for the hell of it! That old saying cheaters never win? That's such BS. I have cheated in every single thing I've ever competed in during my life and I've never caught a single L and you know what? It feels AMAZING. I applaud these teams that cheat and win championships and just once I want one of my teams to cheat their way to glory. Grow some balls. Put needles in asses. Briefcases full of money in dorm rooms. Cameras in locker rooms. Just Cheat baby.

(Photo Courtesy of Getty Images....and what an image it is. Always love a chance to slide in some Rick Pitino....poor choice of words)

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